Apr 29 2009
How My Hospital Birth Traumatized Me………….or made me a women on a mission
When I was pregnant with my first child Ella, I was completely oblivious to the fact that a breastfeeding vs. formula debate even existed. Going to Babies R’ Us while pregnant my husband even went to buy a couple of cans of formula preparing for our babes’ arrival. I assumed I would breastfeed but figured it was only needed for the first couple months and then you switch to formula. Being a young mother helped shield me from the controversy as well, I was more pre-occupied with stylish maternity clothing and the pregnancy itself that I completely lost focus on what I would do when baby actually came.
I was in for a rude awakening!
My last day of work at the ever popular Hooters was on a Saturday. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. I worked there until I was ready to pop! Luckily it was when the Super Bowl was in AZ 2008 and apparently East Coast men LOVE pregnant women. Ironic that I went from using my breasts to sell wings to advocating breastfeeding. Back to my point, I went in to labor on the following Monday morning, my contractions woke me and I thought wow if this is labor its definetly not that bad! Going to the hospital that day the nurses confirmed I was in labor and it could take anywhere from a couple of hours to a whole week! Greeeeeeaaaat I thought this baby better come quick! The pain was worsening to those similar to extreme cramping during your “time of the month” but still something I could handle with banshee like moans lol.
Then the start of my quest towards breastfeeding activism began, unbeknowst to me at the time through the problems I would be dealt in having my daughter in a “western” hospital.
When asked what I would be using to manage my pain I told the nurses that I would be having a natural birth. The response I received was insulting and rude. Middle aged women talking to me as if I didn’t know any better. I quote, “I don’t think you’re ready to have a natural labor.”
At the time I was still only 3 cm dilated and they won’t admit you until you are at least 4. So I shrugged it off and went home. Then the pain became even more intense but not bad enough that I felt I couldn’t handle it. Just started to get tough to talk through. After being sent home from the hospital twice I didn’t want to risk driving back and having to drive home again. Before I had left to return home the last time a nurse told me do not return until the pain makes you cry!
Well I wasn’t crying yet. 4:00 p.m. Tuesday rolls around and my mother feels we should get me checked out again. So off to the hospital. Now I can barely walk through a contraction but no tears yet. Just intense pain in waves. I walk into the hospital and one of the nurses even had the nerve to tell me (when I was 9cm dilated), “Are you done feeling what labor is like?” I just looked over to my mother who was in the room with me, catching my glance the nurse again said, “Shes not the one laying in that bed, you are. YOU need to make the decision. I mean do you see women who have been through natural labor with a gold star on their foreheads or walking around with a trophy?”
I couldn’t believe how rude she was. It didn’t stop there.
When I asked the nurse if I was 4 cm yet she shook her head no and walked out of the room without telling me where I was in my progress. She walked back in asked me if I was ready for my epidural. I was in the most vulnerable state of my life with the lingering contractions now making me feel as if I needed to vomit, my husband who had just started a new job was on his way and couldn’t be there to remind me of my decision we had researched of having a natural birth. My mother just held my hand and I figured well if I’m still only at 3 cm and it feels this way already than fine. I gave in.
As the anesthsiologist was inserting the line in my back he was chatting with the nurse about how this was not your typical epidural because I was so far dilated, lost in my pain I thought he couldn’t be talking about me. Than he said yes, she is already 9 cm dilated.
I flipped out. I was so close! I filed a complaint with the hospital after that for the nurse misleading me and not disclosing how many cm’s I was actually dilated.
So needless to say my progress than became delayed. My babies’ heart rate slowed, she expelled meconium in the birth canal and thankfully did not have to be rushed to the NICU. When she was born none of those feel good hormones rushed through my body. I was numb. The epidural had crushed any natural process that my body should have experience in the birth of my daughter. Therefore leading to the delay in effective breastfeeding.
The pediatrician made me cry pretty much threatening me to supplement with formula telling me I was starving my baby.
(The day I was going to leave the hospital the baby weighed in at 6 lbs 2 oz from 6 lbs 9 oz) and that if my baby dropped 2 more oz they were going to keep her in the hospital.
I changed my pediatrician and got myself informed. My eyes were opened to the breastmilk vs formula debate, the cons & risks associated wth formula and how to successfully breastfeed.
Here I am today nursing my 13 mo old and advocating breastfeeding over formula.
